Will This Do, Too?

Last week, I posted my first blog post about the #EUreferendum. 22 February was just two days after MC Wee Davey C had held the first weekend cabinet meeting since the Falkands War, having returned from Brussels in triumph.

“Some of you, perhaps, have already heard what this paper contains, but I would just like to read it to you: BORIS IS A SCRUFFY, TWO-FACED BASTARD.”

Since 22 February, seven months have passed, and the bloody vote won’t take place until 23 June.

[Pass the time with some whimsy over at the Apoplexy Tiny Letter.]

As I remarked to Mrs Stroke Bloke the other day – probably regurgitating something I’d seen on Twitter – the whole thing is already looking like the shit sequel to #indyref.

Another 9 1/2 Weeks? No, it’s much worse than that. And much longer.

So, I won’t be blogging much about this. If I’m bored with it already, god knows you won’t want to be reading any more about it here. So it was a relief to spend the weekend writing about this

It’s… Monte Cassino’s Flying Circus!

and this

No! Anti-clockwise, you fool!

Unfortunately, this meant that I didn’t have much time to focus on the topics which might make for an interesting blog post. And there have been little nuggets of interest squeezing through the blanket Brexit coverage.

But if you’re British, you need to Vote, Man. And if like a significant portion of apoplectic.me readers, you’re American, there’s a kind of universal aspect of the Brexit campaign that might be instructive for all that voting you have to do this year.

“Why is this lying bastard lying to me?”

You said it, Paxo. Or, did you?

We all got to know BoJo a little better last week. Sorry, my bad. Imagine my surprise when it turned out that Eddie Mair was also covering London Mayor Boris Johnson’s Telegraph piece on the PM programme last Monday (starting around 53:29). Eddie had one of the BBC’s Reality Check team on hand to analyse  the piece.


Boris had claimed that, because of Europe

  • we can’t recycle (presumably he meant compost) a teabag
  • children under eight can’t blow up balloons
  • there are limits on the power of vacuum cleaners, egads!
  • there is nothing we can do to introduce better designed cabs for trucks to protect cyclists.

Long story short, of those four claims – “two are a bit silly” (I think this means, “are lies”), one was actually a problem when Boris first raised it because he feared the UK government might object, and the other limits the power of vacuum cleaners.

And let’s face it, British people do need to be regulated when it comes to vacuum cleaners.

“Barman with Henry Hoover tattoo fears he’ll never have sex again”

Appropriately enough, today’s debate has consisted of the different factions of the government accusing each other of being lying bastards. Hopefully, both sides can lose.

So, whether you’re voting in the Brexit referendum, the devolved elections in the British Isles, the Presidential primaries, or the Presidential election, keep one thing in mind.

“Why is this lying bastard lying to me?” – actually said by the very interesting Louis Heren

But next week –

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2 thoughts on “Will This Do, Too?

  1. I’m sorry. This week your photos are too distracting for me to comment on your text.

    The foot had me obsessing about the Sigiriya lion’s paw. And then I got to Hoover man.

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