Category Archives: Football

Beautiful Losers

Week Three of the World Cup has come to an end. And what a [🚨 CLICHÉ KLAXON!!! 🚨] Feast Of Football it’s been. Notwithstanding that Brazil continue to elicit roughly the same amount of sympathy as their 1994 World Cup-winning edition of vicious bores, rather than 1982’s beautiful losers.

[Feeling bereft as the games begin to dry up? Pass the time with the Apoplexy Newsletter.] Continue reading Beautiful Losers

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World Cup Fever

It’s day six of .

So if you’re worried that you might be exhibiting symptoms of World Cup Fever, it might be a good time to ask a friend to check you out.

The Lester Piggott of football
Unfortunately, this victim has no friends.

Are you worried about WCF? Read on for a guide to identifying the symptoms.
But first, get today’s soundtrack from the Apoplexy newsletter.
Continue reading World Cup Fever

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Lingo Frankly

Hiya! Sorry to miss you last week – it’s been a pretty hectic few weeks. Here in Edinburgh, we’ve been marking Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief‘s Death Awareness Week, and the Hidden Door Festival has been taking place down the road in Leith.

Get yer sambas oot
Aye, there’s a pretty interesting story about this.

[For more about those sorts of things, check out the Apoplexy Newsletter.] Continue reading Lingo Frankly

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Specimen Daze

I can’t say that I’m any less furious about the state of the world this week than I was last week.

LOOK WHAT BEING A ROYAL BROOD MARE DID TO ME!!!
CHEER UP YOU MISERABLE SOD!!!

No. Shan’t. I don’t care what you say, Royal Baby Announcement Town Crier Guy. I’ll thcream and thcream ’till I’m thick.

[Maybe a good tune is what we need – check out the Apoplexy Tiny Letter.] Continue reading Specimen Daze

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A Ray of Sunshine

It has never been hard to tell the difference between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine, PG Wodehouse once wrote. And today, as the Scottish Parliament debates the merits of approaching Westminster regarding another Independence referendum and just under half of the MSPs grumble about the Scottish Government manufacturing grievances, maybe it’s time to change the stereotype?

"Is it no, aye?"
(A) A Scotsman, (B) a ray of sunshine, (C) the mighty Kingsley, or (D) all of the above?

[For more sugar, spice, and nice things, check out the Apoplexy Tiny Letter]

Continue reading A Ray of Sunshine

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The Standard Version

As readers of last week’s blog post will know, I like to listen to BBC Radio Scotland’s Good Morning Scotland when I’m making breakfast in the morning.

RP? I'll give ye RP!!
“Och awa, ye daft gouk – this isnae yon BBC!”

Mrs Stroke Bloke worries about my blood pressure, I’m sure, as a disconcerting mixture of laughter and swearie words escapes the kitchen. But it keeps me somewhat connected to the larger world, and sometimes, there’s a wee gem of an item to consider. Say, on the subject of #strokes. Continue reading The Standard Version

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Stroke Bloke at Euro 2016

Some years ago, Mrs Stroke Bloke and I noticed that – not much like J. Alfred Prufrock – our relationship could be measured out in international soccer tournaments.

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons, maaaan.”

Back in the summer of 2010, I was introducing my new American girlfriend to a Scottish pal in a Brooklyn bar as we watched (was it?) the USA v England in South Africa.

And as well as being beautiful and funny, she already understands the offside rule!

But as Scotland fail, yet again, to qualify for a major tournament at France 2016, how do I find a team to give me a rooting interest? Read on…

[Join the conversation at the Apoplexy Tiny Letter here.]

Continue reading Stroke Bloke at Euro 2016

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Presidential Cookie Bake-Off

Last week’s post closed with the reflections of the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Company on the nature of the BBC weather map.

“In a wee country, dreams stay with you…”

This isn’t an original problem, of course. Africa’s got it a lot worse. There’s a summary of some of the problems and approaches to mapping here. Have a think about what projections of the globe you like, and then find out why Randall xkcd hates you here.

‘What’s this got to do with strokes?’ you might ask. If you’ve not been here before.

[Pretend you liked apoplectic.me before it was cool. Sign up for the apoplectic Tiny Letter here.]

Continue reading Presidential Cookie Bake-Off

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The Sound Of Buildings

I met up with my attorney on the street in TriBeCa the other day.

“Did you get a new haircut? I thought so. You’d fit right in here, or in the West Village.”

It’s noticeable that the people most likely to pigeon-hole this middle-aged Scottish man as a hipster (even if he didn’t use the actual epithet) are solicitous recreational therapists and lawyers from Long Island. Clearly, I’m more square than hip.

OK, that’s a bad angle.

[Sign up for the more personal apoplectic.me newsletter here.]

Continue reading The Sound Of Buildings

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