Category Archives: Stroke

Of Fairies and Plesiosaurs

June 30, 2015Referendum, Stroke, TravelFairy Glen, Loch Ness, Urquhart Castlericky

So, Longsufferinggirlfriendoftheblogbeth and I did indeed make it to Inverness last week to embark upon a scientifically rigorous search for the Loch Ness Monster. We stayed at a hotel on the Lochside. We took a boat ride up the loch to Urquhart Castle. And the results are in…..

Just take a look at the red area on the right hand side of the scanner readings. RIGHT?!?!

But for those of you who aren’t experienced in sonar interpretation, here’s some pictorial evidence of our results that’s even more conclusive than that presented in last week’s blog. Continue reading Of Fairies and Plesiosaurs →

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Apoplocalypse!

June 1, 2015Movies, Sci-fi, Science, StrokeChampion the Wonder Horse, Finding Nemo, Seriously?, Wall-Ericky

Before my stroke, I hadn’t written any creative prose – other than short pieces for my girlfriend – for years. Decades, even. After writing a bunch of stroke-related stuff, the first post-stroke piece of fiction I wrote concerned a guy waking up in the Royal Botanical Gardens of Edinburgh with no memory. Quite fitting, I think, for someone who had ~~spent his teenage years among the pubs of Auld Reekie~~ recently woken up from a major brain injury unable to remember the President, the Prime Minister, or his age. As befits a first effort, Dunedin was a little overblown, but I liked it.

MINE! — “The first sound was the prehistoric cawing of a cacophony of gulls.” Really?!

But we can get to that later. First….

[First? First, sign up for the apoplectic.me Tiny Letter here.
More stroke, more absurdité, fewer pictures of seagulls.] Continue reading Apoplocalypse! →

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Killer Lines

May 25, 2015Art, Classical Music, Comics, Referendum, StrokeJames Rhodes, Stephen Colbert, Wonder Womanricky

As followers of the apoplectic.me Tiny Letter will be aware, the University of Edinburgh’s Creative Writers had their second reading night of the year just over a week ago. I co-hosted with my co-host, the handsome and talented Mr Jacques Tsiantar.

For this event, we only had three minutes for each of our individual slots. That’s about 600 words, which isn’t a lot. But fortunately, the first 600 or so words of my stroke-y memoir of extreme survival stop at a real doozie of a line.

Jacques and Ricky on the Road to Rio — ‘And the Scotsman says to the Englishman, “My left arm feels funny!”‘

Continue reading Killer Lines →

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Hard-#@¢king People

May 18, 2015Comics, Healthcare, Politics, StrokeElection Wipe, More or Less, Stroke Associationricky

Eagle-eyed apoplectics will have noticed that we recently had a general election in what, this week, we’re still calling the United Kingdom. The Scottish National Party had a rather good time of it, and 56 new SNP MPs descended on Westminster this week. Here’s Mhairi Black. She’s the new MP for Paisley and Renfrewshire South, and, at 20, the youngest MP since the Reform Act of 1832 (at least). She’s having a chip butty on the Commons terrace.

Ye can take the lassie out of … pic.twitter.com/lCUpr4lO6o

— Anne McLaughlin (@AnneMcLaughlin) May 13, 2015

[Read on for yer actual stroke news.
And sign up for the Apoplexy newsletter here.]

Continue reading Hard-#@¢king People →

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Great British Strokes #8

May 4, 2015Great British Strokes, Politics, Stroke#EdStone, #GE2015, #RoyalBaby, Auberon Waughricky

On 2 May 2015, Princess Waynetta Diana Alexandra Windsor was delivered unto the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and a grateful nation. While the birth was being announced on Twitter, the journos who needed to stand in front of a thing were gathered to await the announcement of the annunciation on an easel on the forecourt of Buckingham Palace.

Liz! I can't find the bloody fizz! — A forecourt, Saturday

In a kind of Bizarro Spiderman moment, said journos were already concerned about the effects the terrible pressures of privilege without responsibility might have on young Waynetta.

Want to keep up with all the latest #RoyalBaby news?
Sign up for the apoplectic Tiny Letter!

Continue reading Great British Strokes #8 →

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Standard Deviation

April 27, 2015Edinburgh, Pop Music, Science, StrokeBatman, Nick Cave, Statistics, The Birthday Partyricky

Last week‘s visit to Coda Music’s event for Record Store Day was a reminder of the late, lamented branch of Avalanche Records on West Nicholson Street. Not that I need much reminding, as regular readers will know (1, 2, 3).

Alas poor Kilroy, I knew him backwards.... — Hardly knew ye? Hardly!

[Interested in how recorded and composed music is created?
Check out the Prof’s new post at nerdbaitband.com] Continue reading Standard Deviation →

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Dead Air

April 13, 2015Movies, Nerd Bait, Science, StrokeApollo 21, CVAs, EVAs, Gravity, Illicit Ink, Nerd Baitricky

I’m really excited about performing over some awesome new Nerd Bait music later this week. My super-talented bandies have made an OST for the Illicit Ink – Skyground production at the Edinburgh International Science Festival, including a branch into the ambient for my particular segment of Apollo 21: Into the Stars.

Beth exists. Really. Some of you have met her, right? — Hey, that’s my imaginary girlfriend!

[Be my imaginary gf, even if you’re a 500lb hirsute trucker –
Sign up for the apoplectic tiny letter here.] Continue reading Dead Air →

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The One With Chandler In It

April 6, 2015Edinburgh, Fiction, Relationships, StrokeDoug Johnstone, LongLit, Philip Marlowe, Raymond Chandler, Val McDermidricky

When I was a teen ~~bandaged heads scared me~~ I read a lot of crime fiction. I wrote a book report on the granpaw of Scottish Noir, William McIlvanney’s Laidlaw. I read a bunch of Robert B. Parker’s Spenser novels. And I got into Parker because he was asked to finish the Marlowe novel, Poodle Springs. And I loved Chandler.

"Well, it's no Moonlighting." — “Well, I do see The Whole Nine Yards as a continuation/commentary on the hard-boiled genre. Don’t you, Bruce?”

[More reflections in the Apoplexy Tiny Letter here.]

Continue reading The One With Chandler In It →

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War Stories

March 2, 2015Great British Strokes, Healthcare, Rehab, StrokeAndrew Marr, Brain Attack, Robert McCrumricky

I’ve decided to include this post in the “Great British Strokes” section of the site. I had it in my head that – given his transatlantic aspect – Robert McCrum might not be, or define himself as, British. Maybe he doesn’t. His resumé does put one somewhat in mind of that of Bill Bryson, who seems very confused about all that stuff.

"And I hate Edinburgh! It's cold, and I'm tired!" – Bill Bryson — No! Bryson! And Part Iowan!

Continue reading War Stories →

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OutRun

February 9, 2015Edinburgh, Healthcare, Rehab, Stroke, UncategorizedKenny Rogers, Left Shark, Sega, Take Thatricky

As hashed over ad nauseam on this blog, there are different types of time. Newtonian time. Relative time. And of course, NFL time. Where 3 hours, 12 minutes = 11 minutes.

"Also, where's Craigie?" — “And that’s why this doofus didn’t have time to learn his moves….”

But one rarely reads about Astley Ainslie time. Y’see, I went to the Astley Ainslie Hospital for a driving assessment last week. When I first checked in with my GP upon my return to Edinburgh in 2013, she told me that due to my stroke, I’d have to take a driving assessment test before resuming driving.

[“What are these weird conversations below the line?”
“Sign up for the apoplectic Tiny Letter and find out.”]

Continue reading OutRun →

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Apoplectic Me

the scribblings of a bloke who had a stroke…

Category Archives: Stroke

Of Fairies and Plesiosaurs

Apoplocalypse!

Killer Lines

Hard-#@¢king People

Great British Strokes #8

Standard Deviation

Dead Air

The One With Chandler In It

War Stories

OutRun